homesick.

even though i have not been home.

i miss home.

this song came out ages ago but i only heard it for the first time on Wednesday.

I can’t even describe what i feel when i hear these lyrics. 

i have so much to blog about lately but so little time. i’ll be back soon

but do yourself a favor and listen to this song. Beautiful- Phil Wickham

I see Your face in every sunrise
The colors of the morning are inside Your eyes
The world awakens in the light of the day
I look up to the sky and say 
You’re beautiful

I see Your power in the moonlit night
Where planets are in motion and galaxies are bright
We are amazed in the light of the stars
It’s all proclaiming who You are
You’re beautiful, You’re beautiful

I see you there hanging on a tree
You bled and then you died and then you rose again for me
Now you are sitting on Your heavenly throne
Soon we will be coming home
You’re beautiful, you’re beautiful

When we arrive at eternity’s shore
Where death is just a memory and tears are no more
We’ll enter in as the wedding bells ring 
Your bride will come together and we’ll sing
You’re beautiful, You’re beautiful, You’re beautiful

I see Your face, You’re beautiful, You’re beautiful, You’re beautiful
I see Your face, You’re beautiful, You’re beautiful, You’re beautiful
I see Your face, I see Your face
I see Your face, You’re beautiful, You’re beautiful, You’re beautiful


little bit

I miss big cities.

Like huge, mega miss them.

A part of my heart yearns for them. It longs to be immersed in a concrete jungle, to be surrounded by people, taxis, cultures, lights, noise, bridges, subways, crowds.

I don’t understand this feeling but if something comes my way about a big city, my heart literally begins to beat quicker.

Don’t get me wrong, I love Victoria, I want God to capture this city. I love my church here, absolutely love it. I love the people here, my family, my new place, this city.

Just that little bit of my heart is growing a little bit…beating a little bit faster…

stay gold,

s.s.♥.

passing the past.

Has your past ever caught up with you? This past Sunday we had an amazing guest speaker, Bill Markham (lead pastor of a church in St. Catherines, Ontario). He went to high school here in Victoria and at the beginning of his message he apologized to those people who knew him back then.

I can totally relate. See I didn’t know God in high school. I went to bible camp, I occasionally went to church but I did not live out my faith. I had no accountability at home or at school, and had no leaders or mentors in my life. I was a wreck a lot of the time. Drowning in insecurity & brokenness caused me to cling to being hardened as if it were my life jacket. A friend recently met someone who said they met me at a party in high school. I hang my head in embarrassment and apologize profusely.

I can’t change my past. As much as I want to go back and make different choices, I can’t. Paul in the Bible had a past. A lot worse than mine and if he moved on, I can move on. Whenever my past comes back to haunt me, I go to this verse in Philippians 3- but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead,  I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.

My life has been radically changed. I’m talking about night & day, 180 degree movement kinda change. And what’s so crazy, is this initial change happened in another country..England to be exact. My eighteenth year of life, was probably my most drastic year ever…another time I’ll tell you the full story but to be concise..I met Jesus..I really met Him and began to know Him. Wow, there is so much I could share. So many little details and steps led up to everything. It’s like an intricate web that only the Lord could have spun.

Anyways…I wrote this email to Bobbi Houston co-pastor of Hillsong Church just to thank her…they eventually posted it on their blog.

Here is the post: You can read the original page here

"God Can Use Women In Incredible Ways"

Christmas is my favourite time of the year! But I would say COLOUR is easily a close second! The effects of these three short days are felt long after the conference is finished, as these thousands of women return to their homes and communities, they are determined to change the world for HIS glory! There are so many incredible stories that come out of Colour, and I wanted to share this one email (below) that we received from Laura in Canada. It’s a beautiful story of how much God cares for the ONE.

—-
“Hello!

I just want to thank you SO much for following through with what God whispered in your heart so long ago. Because of your God-given dream, thousands and thousands of women have been inspired, equipped, empowered & sent out.

I started attending Hillsong London in 2004 , two weeks before COLOURat Wembley. I knew I had to be there, I felt in my heart so much that God wanted me there. Because I didn’t know anyone at the church, I went alone (which was a bit terrifying because I was 18!). But as soon as I stepped in the doors the fear melted away. It was the first time I had ever heard anointed women preaching God’s word with such power and boldness! I was in absolute awe that God could use women in such beautiful, powerful ways! The theme was Warrior/Daughter/Princess and 6 years later I still remember every sermon there. It was there at COLOUR that I felt that I was a Warrior/Daughter/Princess and where I truly felt God’s calling on my life. I also floated out of there with the biggest smile on my face just knowing that I was loved by Him. In July 2005 (BTW I had the most incredible year at Hillsong, I arrived unsaved, broken, insecure and left saved, baptized, filled, knew who I was in Jesus!, encouraged, excited!) I left London to move back home to Canada and fast forward a few years, I’m now working in my Church and God has given me the amazing privilege to speak into the lives of young women in my city.

I know that I wouldn’t be where I was today without COLOUR, without grabbing hold of how God can use women in incredible ways, without hearing those inspiring words God spoke through you! Thank you so much for answering His call because in turn it has affected thousands of lives…including mine! You are a continuing inspiration to me and I always get something out of your blogs/tweets!!

Sorry about the novel but I just had to get these words out!

Be blessed, be blessed, be blessed!!!

Laura”

———————————————————————————————————————-

When my past does catch up to me and I am reminded of the girl I used to be, I can’t even recognize myself. Honestly I couldn’t even be that girl if I tried. All Praise goes to God who lifted me out of that pit of despair and has molded/still molding me into the girl I was intended to be.

He is so good.

Psalm 40:2-3

2 He lifted me out of the pit of despair,
      out of the mud and the mire.
   He set my feet on solid ground
      and steadied me as I walked along.
 3 He has given me a new song to sing,
      a hymn of praise to our God.
   Many will see what he has done and be amazed.
      They will put their trust in the Lord.

stay gold my loves,

s.s.♥.

passion.

Two blogs in one day..for reals, for reals.

I have had the great privilege of seeing my favourite bands live. The Cure, MUSE, Bloc Party, The Killers and most recently, Arcade Fire.

Ah-mazing. One of the most surprising things was how few people were lined up on Tuesday afternoon. My sister and I showed up 2 hours before the doors opened and there were probably only 40 other people. INSANE. We had floor tickets, rushed in and snagged front row. I had to pinch myself to see if it was actually real. I was a late discoverer of Arcade Fire and only actually started to devour their albums in 2009.

The show was phenomenal. Eight members literally danced themselves onto the stage. Each member plays a plethora of instruments. I know I’m preaching to the choir here, that maybe even some of you were at their show at Lucky years ago where I heard they climbed onto the roof and played on the pipes (!!!!!).

Music, lyrics, talent..everything about them is amazeballs. But one thing stood out to me…their sheer passion and joy for what they do. (Ok, two things.)

One thing that I love, love, love, love seeing is people doing what they were meant to do. I can’t really explain it, but you just know, you just know. You know in your soul and in your heart. Deep down, you get this feeling that it is right and good.

As soon as Arcade Fire took the stage the feeling came. My heart sparkled at their passion, their energy. They were beaming from ear to ear. They absolutely LOVED what they were doing. The passion was literally dripping from their faces. (I have a few videos on Facebook, you should really lurk them and have a look). I left the concert sparkling, inspired, in love, content, etc.

And then I got thinking/convicted… I want to live life with that kind of passion, that kind of joy, where others leave inspired, sparkling, content.