passing the past.
Has your past ever caught up with you? This past Sunday we had an amazing guest speaker, Bill Markham (lead pastor of a church in St. Catherines, Ontario). He went to high school here in Victoria and at the beginning of his message he apologized to those people who knew him back then.
I can totally relate. See I didn’t know God in high school. I went to bible camp, I occasionally went to church but I did not live out my faith. I had no accountability at home or at school, and had no leaders or mentors in my life. I was a wreck a lot of the time. Drowning in insecurity & brokenness caused me to cling to being hardened as if it were my life jacket. A friend recently met someone who said they met me at a party in high school. I hang my head in embarrassment and apologize profusely.
I can’t change my past. As much as I want to go back and make different choices, I can’t. Paul in the Bible had a past. A lot worse than mine and if he moved on, I can move on. Whenever my past comes back to haunt me, I go to this verse in Philippians 3- but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.
My life has been radically changed. I’m talking about night & day, 180 degree movement kinda change. And what’s so crazy, is this initial change happened in another country..England to be exact. My eighteenth year of life, was probably my most drastic year ever…another time I’ll tell you the full story but to be concise..I met Jesus..I really met Him and began to know Him. Wow, there is so much I could share. So many little details and steps led up to everything. It’s like an intricate web that only the Lord could have spun.
Anyways…I wrote this email to Bobbi Houston co-pastor of Hillsong Church just to thank her…they eventually posted it on their blog.
Here is the post: You can read the original page here
"God Can Use Women In Incredible Ways"
Christmas is my favourite time of the year! But I would say COLOUR is easily a close second! The effects of these three short days are felt long after the conference is finished, as these thousands of women return to their homes and communities, they are determined to change the world for HIS glory! There are so many incredible stories that come out of Colour, and I wanted to share this one email (below) that we received from Laura in Canada. It’s a beautiful story of how much God cares for the ONE.
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“Hello!
I just want to thank you SO much for following through with what God whispered in your heart so long ago. Because of your God-given dream, thousands and thousands of women have been inspired, equipped, empowered & sent out.
I started attending Hillsong London in 2004 , two weeks before COLOURat Wembley. I knew I had to be there, I felt in my heart so much that God wanted me there. Because I didn’t know anyone at the church, I went alone (which was a bit terrifying because I was 18!). But as soon as I stepped in the doors the fear melted away. It was the first time I had ever heard anointed women preaching God’s word with such power and boldness! I was in absolute awe that God could use women in such beautiful, powerful ways! The theme was Warrior/Daughter/Princess and 6 years later I still remember every sermon there. It was there at COLOUR that I felt that I was a Warrior/Daughter/Princess and where I truly felt God’s calling on my life. I also floated out of there with the biggest smile on my face just knowing that I was loved by Him. In July 2005 (BTW I had the most incredible year at Hillsong, I arrived unsaved, broken, insecure and left saved, baptized, filled, knew who I was in Jesus!, encouraged, excited!) I left London to move back home to Canada and fast forward a few years, I’m now working in my Church and God has given me the amazing privilege to speak into the lives of young women in my city.
I know that I wouldn’t be where I was today without COLOUR, without grabbing hold of how God can use women in incredible ways, without hearing those inspiring words God spoke through you! Thank you so much for answering His call because in turn it has affected thousands of lives…including mine! You are a continuing inspiration to me and I always get something out of your blogs/tweets!!
Sorry about the novel but I just had to get these words out!
Be blessed, be blessed, be blessed!!!
Laura”
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When my past does catch up to me and I am reminded of the girl I used to be, I can’t even recognize myself. Honestly I couldn’t even be that girl if I tried. All Praise goes to God who lifted me out of that pit of despair and has molded/still molding me into the girl I was intended to be.
He is so good.
Psalm 40:2-3
2 He lifted me out of the pit of despair,
out of the mud and the mire.
He set my feet on solid ground
and steadied me as I walked along.
3 He has given me a new song to sing,
a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see what he has done and be amazed.
They will put their trust in the Lord.
stay gold my loves,
s.s.♥.
passion.
Two blogs in one day..for reals, for reals.
I have had the great privilege of seeing my favourite bands live. The Cure, MUSE, Bloc Party, The Killers and most recently, Arcade Fire.
Ah-mazing. One of the most surprising things was how few people were lined up on Tuesday afternoon. My sister and I showed up 2 hours before the doors opened and there were probably only 40 other people. INSANE. We had floor tickets, rushed in and snagged front row. I had to pinch myself to see if it was actually real. I was a late discoverer of Arcade Fire and only actually started to devour their albums in 2009.
The show was phenomenal. Eight members literally danced themselves onto the stage. Each member plays a plethora of instruments. I know I’m preaching to the choir here, that maybe even some of you were at their show at Lucky years ago where I heard they climbed onto the roof and played on the pipes (!!!!!).
Music, lyrics, talent..everything about them is amazeballs. But one thing stood out to me…their sheer passion and joy for what they do. (Ok, two things.)
One thing that I love, love, love, love seeing is people doing what they were meant to do. I can’t really explain it, but you just know, you just know. You know in your soul and in your heart. Deep down, you get this feeling that it is right and good.
As soon as Arcade Fire took the stage the feeling came. My heart sparkled at their passion, their energy. They were beaming from ear to ear. They absolutely LOVED what they were doing. The passion was literally dripping from their faces. (I have a few videos on Facebook, you should really lurk them and have a look). I left the concert sparkling, inspired, in love, content, etc.
And then I got thinking/convicted… I want to live life with that kind of passion, that kind of joy, where others leave inspired, sparkling, content.
Santorini: the island that got away.
Memories.
My last post was of a picture that was taken on the Greek Island of Mykonos. Last week, boredom hit me as I was on Facebook and I decided to creep through some old photos.
Europe. Oh man.
I really do miss it. (I lived there for a year and have been back twice since then).
I miss London mostly. (Which I will have to blog about that whole chapter another time).
In 2008, my self and six friends went on a little adventure to Europe. Oh the memories.
I can’t even count them on one hand.
Staying at the sketchiest hostel… transitioning from disgusting hostel to Colour Conference at Royal Albert Hall in Kensington.
Sleeping in airports… and in one of them, two of the girls stayed up all night and drew pictures of us.
Eating curry in Brick Lane. Mmmmmmmmmmmm
Eating British chocolate everyday (that really hasn’t changed as I’m eating a galaxy bar as I write this)
Frolicking in a park in Dublin, reading Oscar Wilde quotes on monuments.
Topshop Oxford Street. (Nuff said)
Laying eyes on the original Olympic rings in Athens.
Camden Town.
Eating fries from a fry-fork in an Athens MacDonalds.
Walking down the same streets the Apostle Paul did in Ephesus. (INSANE…and there were a lot of cats there too?.. I know, weird)
I am a planner. I love planned things. I do love random, crazy, last minute adventures but I guess these are usually planned. So obviously we planned this Europe trip. I was amongst like 4 other type A planners.
But the thing about travelling is things always don’t go the way you plan them.
You don’t think to add in other factors like your boat captain crashing into Crete (oh yes he did.)
In this trip we flew into London, did the London thing, jetted off to Greece, cruised the Greek islands, then flew to Dublin for the weekend and flew back to London before we left for home (we actually went to Amsterdam at the end of the trip…not by choice but I’ll get to that later.)
It’s story time.
The cruise was fun, a little ridiculous. Before our trip people would say, “Oh a Greek island cruise? Party time.” Ha. 90% of the passengers were above the age of 50. But we had a grand ol time.
So, on this Greek Island cruise we were SO excited for this island. When people go to Greece all they talk about is this island. Movies always feature this island. Basically, I REALLY WANTED TO GO TO THIS ISLAND.
Santorini- the island that got away.
Yes, I had been hoping and dreaming of Santorini. I really, really, wanted to ride a donkey on Santorini. I really, really wanted to see the little houses on Santorini. I really, really, wanted to see the sunset on Santorini.
Sadly, none of this happened.
It was just another day at sea. We had been docked in Crete (where our tour guide told us to use this morning as a sleep in, as there is nothing to do in Crete). We awoke beyond excited for our afternoon and evening in Santorini. It was like the night before Christmas. Random thoughts were spoken out loud,
“I’m too scared to go on the donkey!”
“Ah! I can’t wait to go on the donkey!”
“We’re going to die on the freaking donkey!”
As you can see, we were really excited about the donkey.
And then it happened.
The announcement.
My memory is a bit foggy of this unfortunate day and even some of the other girls refuse to talk about it to this day.
“Our captain had an accident leaving Crete and we are not able to go to Santorini.”
First of all.. WHAT! Our captain crashed the cruise ship?
And second of all, NO SANTORINI!!!!!!!!!!!
Our hearts were crushed. Absolutely crushed. Even though we were having an amazing trip, no amounts of British chocolate could make up for the fact that we were not going to Santorini.
We turned our teensy tv to the channel that was hooked up to a camera on the outside of the ship. We put on our life jackets (obviously we were sinking). We viewed that teensy tv for hours upon hours. (Actually it was probably about 20 minutes). We talked about walking around the ship with our life jackets on but then we realized that may be a bit ridiculous. We were faced with a decision. Do we sit and mope or do we get out of our teensy inside facing (we were on a budget) room? We chose the latter. We went on, ate some food, laughed about the experience and enjoyed our last afternoon at sea. (FYI: tanning on the top of a Greek Island Cruise Ship seems like a good idea…remember to factor in the wind…it was literally freezing..don’t be deceived by our photos)
Sometimes in life, things may not always turn out the way you plan.
Actually a lot of times things don’t turn out the way you plan.
When I was younger I wanted to be a lawyer…or a memaid. If I thought of myself at twenty-four, I would be married and have at least one child. HA. That would be insane. I have come to accept that most times, things don’t happen the way I intend.
But I am ok with that. My Father holds eternity in His hands. He knows me inside and out and knows what I need and what I don’t need. It’s a lot easier when you don’t get stuck on yourself for things not going the way you plan and instead enjoy life, laugh and trust that He has the greatest plan for you.
Proverbs 16:9 NLT
We can make our plans,
but the Lord determines our steps.
Don’t sit around in your lifejacket contemplating why things didn’t go the way you planned. Trust in Him. I once heard a sermon analogy from Judah Smith. He explained that life was like a parade…a big long parade. We are on the sidelines watching it go by and sometimes a horse poops in front of you and it’s gross and smelly. We get sad and mad and freak out and want to be somewhere else. But God is in that news helicopter above the parade.
He can see the whole parade.
The beginning and the end.
He sees the pooper scooper people a block away from you (who will get rid of that gross horse poop). He sees that two blocks away are the people who hand out candy. He sees the entire parade and you are exactly where you need to be.
Stay gold my friends,
s.s.♥.
ps. Oh that time where our plane broke and we were forced to stay in Amsterdam with only the clothes on our back and our carry on luggage full of breakable items we didn’t want to put in our checked baggage…yeah I’ll save that for another time ;)