HOLD ONTO HOPE
Hope...defined as "the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best". I've often been someone who hopes for the best. As I've shared before in this place, I'm a natural optimist...sometimes a realist...and sometimes a pessimist but mostly an optimist. And sometimes that has gotten be into trouble. My hopes were not met, and I ended up disappointed.
Hope...defined as "the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best". I've often been someone who hopes for the best. As I've shared before in this place, I'm a natural optimist...sometimes a realist...and sometimes a pessimist but mostly an optimist. And sometimes that has gotten be into trouble. My hopes were not met, and I ended up disappointed.
It may seem easier to not get your hopes up but I don't believe that is the way God has called us to live.
(Trigger warning- I will be sharing my pregnancy story which may conjure up feelings if you've suffered a loss. I'm so sorry if that is you, and I understand if you don't want to read further.)
This pregnancy has been very different than my pregnancy with Luca. You may remember, God told me through a dream that I was pregnant before I even tested. We had been trying for months and I was expectant that it was going to happen. Luca was my promise from God. I held onto that through the whole pregnancy.
This one came very differently. No dream, no word from the Lord, just a positive test when I was least expecting it. A few days after I tested positive I experienced some spotting. I didn't know what was happening but in that moment, I remember giving it to God and hoping for the best. Thankfully the bleeding stopped and at our 8 week ultrasound things looked great.
I had a routine doctor's appointment at 9.5 weeks and my doctor pulled out the doppler. It was very early, and the baby was very tiny at this point so I knew there was a big chance that I wouldn't hear the heartbeat. She searched for a couple minutes and we couldn't find it. I was a bit disappointed but knew I would hear it soon. My lovely doctor booked me to come back two weeks later instead of four to calm my nerves.
Two weeks later at 11.5 weeks the heartbeat can usually be heard. I went into my appointment pretty hopeful that I'd be able to hear that beautiful sound. With Luca, we heard it at 11 weeks. I had a resident doctor instead of my usual doctor that day and after asking the usual questions, he got the doppler out. He informed me that he wasn't as good at it as my normal doctor so if he couldn't find it, he'd grab her. After five minutes of searching, he went to get my doctor. Right before he left the room I remember him saying, "Even if we can't find it today, don't worry. Everything is most likely okay." I don't know if doctors are supposed to say those kind of things, but I so appreciated his optimistic outlook in that moment.
My doctor comes in the room a little while later and tries another doppler. After what felt like ages but was probably about 10 minutes of searching, we don't hear anything except for my heartbeat and the placenta. She had searched and searched and searched. Thankfully she booked me to come in three days later to try again, and encouraged me not to worry even though I probably would.
Those three days felt like some of the longest days of my life. Through those three days I had to FIGGGHT for hope. My mind wanted to not get my hopes up. My mind wanted to prepare me for the worst. My mind wanted me to not be disappointed.
But my heart longed for hope. So I did what I've done in hard circumstances in the past, I opened his word, declared his promises, praised him and got prayer warriors praying.
I turned to one of my favourite verses in Romans...
Even when there was no reason for hope, Abraham kept hoping...20 Abraham never wavered in believing God’s promise. In fact, his faith grew stronger, and in this he brought glory to God. 21 He was fully convinced that God is able to do whatever he promises. Romans 4:18&20-21
It was a tough three days. My mind and heart battled it out.
During that time I was reading Anne of Green Gables and came across this beautiful quote. At this particular section, Marilla was trying to help Anne understand the real world.
"'You set your heart too much on things, Anne," said Marilla with a sigh. 'I'm afraid there'll be a great many disappointments in store for you through life.'
'Oh Marilla, looking forward to things is half the pleasure of them,' exclaimed Anne. 'You mayn't get the things themselves but nothing can prevent you from having the fun of looking forward to them. Mrs. Lynde says, 'Blessed are they who expect nothing for they shall not be disappointed.' But I think it would be worse to expect nothing than to be disappointed.'"
And I couldn't agree more with Anne. It would be worse to expect nothing than to be disappointed. Life is hard, but there is always hope...always.
image by andrearhowey
His peace came in waves over me and I held onto hope. I'd expect the best and if the outcome wasn't what I planned, God would be there for us but in the meantime I wasn't going to let my mind go there.
So James and I went into the doctor's that Friday morning, trusting God (shakily, but still trusting). Our doctor went to business right away and at first touch we thought we heard the baby's heartbeat but then she felt my pulse and realized mine was 130 bpm. After a couple minutes of searching we heard a movement, that my doctor said was a baby moving and seconds after that, we heard that precious heartbeat. 166 bpm.
I know not everyone shares the same story as us and a lot have suffered loss. My heart breaks for you and my prayer for you is that you would keep hoping because God isn't finished with your story yet.
Easter is just around the corner and I'm reminded of how hard it must have been for Jesus' disciples after He was crucified on Good Friday. Those three days must have been full of despair and heartache but thankfully that's not where the story ends. Three days later, He rose in Victory. He triumphed over death and proved that hope exists in Him.
Life is hard but there is hope. Keep hoping, keep trusting, He's not done yet.
XO,
Laura
WE'RE HAVING ANOTHER BABY!
We are beyond excited to welcome another baby and give Luca a sibling. If this baby arrives on its due date (like Luca did!) then they will be a little less than 16 months apart! It's wild and crazy and they will be a little bit closer than I had originally planned but hey, it's all going to work out just fine :) (at least that's what I keep telling myself....ps. so thankful we have a lot of family and amazing friends in town!)
This is a sponsored post written by me on behalf of e.p.t.. All opinions are 100% mine.
James, Luca and myself are thrilled to announce that baby Liira #2 will be making his/her debut this fall!
We are beyond excited to welcome another baby and give Luca a sibling. If this baby arrives on its due date (like Luca did!) then they will be a little less than 16 months apart! It's wild and crazy and they will be a little bit closer than I had originally planned but hey, it's all going to work out just fine :) (at least that's what I keep telling myself....ps. so thankful we have a lot of family and amazing friends in town!)
It was so crazy testing this time around. As you may remember with Luca, it took about 6 months to conceive him and I tested negative after negative. This time around my cycle was a bit out of whack and I was on day 45 so I decided to test. So early morning I tested and was clearly a bit tired because I thought it was negative and put in the trash can. I go and tell James we're not pregnant then think, "Oh my gosh, I'm supposed to wait a few minutes, I should really go check again." So I pull it out of the trash and there you go, a faint positive line!!!!!
I actually found out SUPER early.... 3 weeks 2 days to be exact! So thankful for pregnancy tests like e.p.t. that detect pregnancy 5 days sooner and are 99% accurate!
FYI- if you live in the states you can pick up e.p.t. from Walmart, Wallgreens or RiteAid. I just ordered mine from Amazon, which is the best because who knows who you could run into while buying a pregnancy test lols!
I cannot wait to see Luca become a big brother. I know not to have crazy expectations as he's still a baby himself BUT he's just such a loving little guy. I know in his time, he is going to be such a loving and caring big brother and I can't wait to watch it unfold! I'm kinda hoping for another boy so him and Luca can be besties (and because we have all the boy stuff already lols). Obviously, I would be completely thrilled with whatever the sex is! Oh and incase you're wondering, we are definitely finding out and this time I'm hoping to do a fun gender reveal.
I'll be heading back to work a month early, which I'm actually pretty excited about. My bosses have been so encouraging and supportive. So thankful to work in a place that is in support of families!
Baby is due early October. It's going to be so different to have a fall baby (Luca was born in mid-June!) but I'm already imagining newborn snuggles while I sip a pumpkin spice latte lols. It's also going to be pretty interesting being super preggo in the summer. I'll probably try to squeeze in lots of lake swims to cool my huge preggo self down, ha.
Can't wait to meet this baby bunny! It's already going by so quickly. I'll be back soon with a more detailed bump update. (Yes, I'm planning on doing these this pregnancy!)
And mama's with two under two, give me alllll your tips please and thank you!
XOXO,
Laura
PRINTABLE APRIL CALENDAR
Happy April 1st everyone! No April Fool's jokes over here because 1. I'm a terrible liar and 2. I'm so gullible, I end up believing ALLLLL the jokes....anyone with me?
Happy April 1st everyone! No April Fool's jokes over here because 1. I'm a terrible liar and 2. I'm so gullible, I end up believing ALLLLL the jokes....anyone with me?
Here is your printable April calendar! It's my last month of maternity leave before I go back to work in May! Sooooo crazy. I'm excited to go back but this month I'm determined to soak in allll them baby cuddles! Also very excited to go away to Pender & Whistler. What about you? Any big plans for April???
CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD YOUR PRINTABLE APRIL CALENDAR
Happy Saturday!!
XO,
Laura
LUCA THE LION // 9 MONTH UPDATE
Our little bubba is growing up so quickly! I can't believe how much of a little boy he is...no longer looking like a baby....it's so sad but this month has been my favourite yet! He's so interactive and plays so well independently. It's so fun discovering what makes him laugh, oh man this is such a fun age!
LUCA AT NINE MONTHS
Our little bubba is growing up so quickly! I can't believe how much of a little boy he is...no longer looking like a baby....it's so sad but this month has been my favourite yet! He's so interactive and plays so well independently. It's so fun discovering what makes him laugh, oh man this is such a fun age!
Here's the Lion's 9 month update:
WEIGHT: 21.5 lbs
My little man likes to EAT! So much that he jumped from the 50th percentile in weight to the 75th!
HEIGHT: 28.5 inches
He's getting taller!
WEARS: He's pretty much mostly in 12 month clothing. Honestly I haven't purchased anything brand new for him recently because I've been going to Thistle & Wren and finding the cutest things! I love consignment. If you're local to Victoria, I highly suggest checking them out (they're located in Fernwood square!)
SLEEPS: Thankfully last month's early wake ups are long gone (hoping this sticks for a looong time). My little Lion has been sleeping SO WELL! Daylight savings turned out to be amazing as he now goes down at 7:30pm, which allows us to actually do things in the evening, yay! And he's been sleeping straight through until 7-7:30. It's honestly been a dream. I think he maybe got up once this past month? And all James had to do was change his diaper and he went back to sleep.
Naps have been going pretty well too. Sometime he resists the morning nap, but usually he'll go about an hour and then for 1.5-2 hours in the afternoon. I'm thinking of getting him some blackout blinds soon because it's been getting brighter and brighter. Please let me know mamas if you have any recommendations!
EATS: Little man eats everything! We feed him a mix of purees and finger foods. Sometimes he's not so good at the chewing part...hoping he gets a few more teeth soon because I'm sure that will help him be more efficient and not give mama a heart attack when he swallows things whole!!!
PLAYS: It's so fun watching this little man explore! We had to hcore baby proof our house because he was getting into absolutely everything! His favourite thing to do is chase Coco, our cat around the house. He thinks she's the best thing ever and she is the annoyed older sister...thankfully she hasn't tried to scratch him but she is so not interested in him lols. He's inch-worming everywhere! We have hardwood so I think it's a bit harder to crawl on. He's also pulling himself up on everything (including his crib when he's refusing a nap lols) and even is starting to walk on his walker! AHHH please stop growing so quickly little lion!
HIGHS: Oh man, so many highs! But I think him giving me kisses is my favourite thing in the world right now. They're open mouth and pretty slobbery but I'll take them whenever I can get them!
LOWS: Getting the flu SUCKED. Oh my gosh, it knocked James and myself out for days. Thankfully Luca only got it in poop format and he wasn't mad at all. Oh ya, it was sooo much fun changing poopsplosions when you feel like poop :/
PARENTING: We simply just love being parents to this little guy. James and him have such a little bond, it's soo sweet. James will be taking care of Luca on Mondays when I go back to work in May and he's soo excited about it. #presh
POSTPARTUM: Well after being sick and pretty run down for the past month, I'm excited to get back on the exercise train! I'll be doing mostly running/walking outside and some videos in my house. We're trying to save some $$ so we cancelled our gym memberships.
WHAT I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO: In April we have two little getaways before I go back to work in May! First a quick family trip to our new family cabin on Pender Island...SOOO EXCITED! And then mama gets to go away for a spa trip to Whistler to celebrate my bestie Rachel turning 30!! So excited to get these fun things in before going back to work!!
I'll be back soon with a 10 month update because that's only a couple weeks away lols.
Love ya!
Laura
LIVING ROOM UPDATE (BEFORE)
The time has come to update our living room! Things change when you have a baby...especially when said baby starts to move around. You actually have to sweep your floors and pick up everything because if you have a random stray bit of cardboard in the far corner of your house, said baby will pick it up, and try to eat it and then proceed to gag and you'll have to pull it out of their mouth....true story, it happened to a friend of a friend of mine ;)
The time has come to update our living room! Things change when you have a baby...especially when said baby starts to move around. You actually have to sweep your floors and pick up everything because if you have a random stray bit of cardboard in the far corner of your house, said baby will pick it up, and try to eat it and then proceed to gag and you'll have to pull it out of their mouth....true story, it happened to a friend of a friend of mine ;)
Luca is officially on the move! With that, we've had to move a bunch of stuff around in our living room and rest of the house. First thing to go was our coffee table with sharp corners/taking up space...sorry friends coming over at night, you have to hold your hot tea in your lap!
The second thing to go was the fireplace grate. We enjoyed a number of fires over the winter, but as soon as Luca started crawling, he'd beeline for the grate and try to pull it over.
The next thing on our list to address are the bookcases. Now get me straight, I LOVE those bookcases. They're the Hemnes ones from Ikea and I just love their look. We could have screwed them to the wall but we decided to kill two birds with one stone and totally re-do the fireplace and build built ins!!!!
So here's my dream plan....it may take awhile (aka saving $$$$) for it all to fall into place but here is what we're hoping to do:
- Install new fireplace...we ordered a wood burning fire place insert but may return it and go with natural gas (which is my dream but when we called two years ago it was so much $$$$$ to get it to our home, so we're figuring that stuff out!)
- Build built ins...in doing so, we will probably get rid of the brick around the fireplace and move the fireplace to actually centre it on that wall.
- Figure out where to put tv....we were going to place it over the fireplace but we're thinking maybe put it on the side wall on an arm?
- Move couch across from fireplace...and hopefully purchase new couch that is more kid friendly.
- Purchase two chairs to sit across from each other
- Move rug to our bedroom and find new rug...this is not a priority for James so this may happen in a few years lols.
So there's the plan! I'll be back soon with more inspiration soon!
XO!
laura