I've been waiting awhile to share our pregnancy story. It's a bit of a complicated story because there are other stories intwined with it. But it's a story of God's goodness, so I just can't not share it with you. Just a disclosure- this may be a bit TMI as I talk about cycles and ovaries and all that fun stuff haha...don't say I didn't warn you!
When James and I got married, we knew we wanted to wait awhile before having kids. So I went with the IUD as birth control knowing I had a good five years of not having babies. But after two years of marriage, the ovaries started yearning. Little, cute babies everywhere with all their cute baby things...oh that can do some damage to your ovaries.
But James was still in school and then we bought a house so we decided to wait to start trying. Until we had dinner with some awesome pastors who encouraged us re: having babies while we were young. After some prayer and chats, we decided that I would get my IUD taken out and we would give it a go! Surely we wouldn't get pregnant right away.
And we were right as much as I didn't want to be right. The ol' IUD peaced out in early March and I didn't get pregnant until September. My body took a little bit of time to get on track and then James was travelling with Towers & Trees during a number of my "fertile windows" ha. It got to be a bit frustrating during the summer as I discovered my cycle going from 30 days to 32 to 40 (!!!!) to 35. When I look back on my app that tracked all that, we ended up just missing my fertile window days almost every month lols. During those months when my cycle was longer than normal, I obviously took pregnancy tests. I had a friend who hooked me up with those free stick ones so I couldn't not take them (they were freee!)
I admit it was definitely disheartening to dip the stick and only see one line when it seemed that everyone was getting pregnant around me. But God gave me peace about it and I knew it would happen when it would happen.
September came around and James was in town the whole month. BOOYAH! This was our month to actually "try". Because my cycle was unpredictable, we decided to strategize a bit. So for a two week period let's just say we "tried" a lot. This also happened to be during our local rock festival, Rifflandia, where James played two shows at...so I can proudly say my son was conceived during a rock festival that his daddy played at (pretty freaking awesome, if you ask me, ha!!)
So fast forward a couple weeks...I decide not to test until at least day 32. I didn't feel pregnant. Some women know they're pregnant the second they conceive...I was not one of those.
But I had a dream.
Let's get this straight though. I dream a lot. I've even had dreams about babies before but this dream was different. I don't even particularly remember what exactly happened in the dream except for the fact that I was pregnant and my sister was pregnant too. I woke up and just knew it was from God. I knew that I was pregnant. I even recorded it in my journal.
I remember telling James when he woke up and I could tell he thought I was a little crazy. He knew I heard from God but this had been something that had been on my mind for a long time, so logically I could have just had a dream. But I KNEW....like I said before, I didn't feel pregnant but I knew that God was telling me I was. I told a couple friends as well, along with my sister.
Now my sister was on her own fertility journey. Her and her husband had been trying for almost two years. So it was with so much joy and such a privilege that I could share that God was going to make her dreams come true.
So I waited five long days to test. I still wanted to wait until day 32 to test. I felt so crazy over those five days. One minute I would be talking to my belly saying "Oh hello little guy!" (which was my first instinct that I was having a boy) and other times I'd be talking to God, "Am I crazy? Did I just make that dream up?"
But Monday morning came and I woke up before six like a kid on Christmas morning. I bolted to the bathroom, peed into a cup and then dipped the stick that would change my life. Immediately two lines appeared. Thank you Jesus. First of all, I'm not crazy...and second of all, but really first of all, I couldn't believe how amazing God is, that he would tell me in a dream that I was pregnant!!! I took two more tests to be sure.
I then woke James up with the news...and this is the one thing I regret. Man all you people who wait to tell your husbands and come up with really cute, creative ways...how do you do that!! I just could not hold it in. James obviously was so excited but he is not a morning person and it was 6am...so let's just say I didn't get the reaction that I wanted and next time I will wait till he's fully awake before I announce the news, lols.
We told a few close friends and I excitedly called my sister to let her know that a. God was right, I was pregnant and b. she would be pregnant soon. James and I announced our exciting news to both our families one week later over our joint Thanksgiving dinner and that was the best.
And guess what? 5 weeks after I found out that I was pregnant, my sister got the news too. And we just found out she's having a little girl. Little boy and girl cousins who will be born five weeks apart.
HOW GOOD IS GOD!!!! I'm still in awe of his goodness as I feel our little lion kicking away. I can't say I haven't had fears (so many) but his promise has kept me grounded through it all. My faith has grown as I've seen this miracle grow in my sister as well.
And I know some of you don't share this story. Pregnancy is such a crazy, vulnerable thing, my heart breaks as I know so many who have experienced loss but all I can say is, God knows your heart, he is faithful, he is good and he's still at work in your story. Don't you forget that.
Love you to the moon & back,