DANCING WITH MYSELF...ON HAVING THE BEST VALENTINES DAY NO MATTER WHAT YOUR RELATIONSHIP STATUS IS
Welcome to day three of the relationship series over here on SSHEART!
On Tuesday I talked about NOT SETTLING and yesterday I talked about MY #1 RELATIONSHIP RULE....and today I wanted to touch on HAVING THE BEST VALENTINES DAY NO MATTER WHAT YOUR RELATIONSHIP STATUS IS!
As I shared with you on Tuesday, until the past three years, I had always been single on Valentines day. Every other day of the year I enjoyed being single but stinking Valentines Day (ok to be honest there were nights when I found myself hysterically crying out to God, "WHERRREEE IS MY MAN!!!!!!!!" LOLS) Anyways...Valentines is the day of the year that has this funny/horrible super power that makes you very aware of your relationship status....Some people call it National Singleness Awareness Day....
But the good news is you can FIGHT BACK. Your super power is bigger and stronger. You got this. You can have fun and the BEST Valentines Day no matter what your relationship status is!
I found an old post (from 2012!!) where I gave tips on what to do and what not to do on Valentines Day, so I thought it would be fun to repost it....
Here are some practical DOs & DONTs to get you through the day…
DO
1. Spread love to others! You can’t really be sad & lonely if you’re loving other people!
2. Eat LOTS of chocolate.
3. Pray for your future mate. (God’s got this one covered honey, TRUST HIM.)
4. Hang with friends! Watch a comedy, go out for dinner, have a party.
5. Spend some time with Jesus. He’s the one who loves you most.
DON’T
1. Watch too many chick flicks.
2. Look at Wedding Blogs.
3. Pin your future wedding.
4. Not eat chocolate.
5. Let the enemy tell you, you’re going to be alone forever…YOU AIN’T!! God’s prepping your MOG (Man of God) for you!!!!!
When I look back now, I wouldn't mind adding a few more things....
1. Enjoy your freedom!!!
-Enjoy the ability to be able to do what you want, when you want. Spend your money on what you want to spend your money on (saving would be wise as well lol). Your life will not always be like that so enjoy it while you can.
2. Take time to examine your life and make life changes.
-We all carry junk with us into our relationships and the best advice I can offer is work on your stuff. See a counsellor, go to Celebrate Recovery, find a mentor. Work through stuff in your past while you don't have the distraction of another person (and their past stuff). In doing this, you will really get to know yourself and the person God has created you to be.
3. Live your dreams!!!
-Don't you dare wait till your married to do what God's called you to do. Travel. Do missions. Start that business. Graduate from college. Serve at church. Go dancing :)
So what about you? What are your Valentines Day plans? Or do you have a fave sans relationship Valentines Day memory?
Would love to hear from you!
stay gold,
s.s.♥︎.
P.S. Tomorrow I'll be sharing about love/marriage advice from a marriage rookie AND James and I have entered this contest to win a super sweet package (one night stay at hotel and couples massage...yes please!!!) If you could do me the biggest favour and like/comment these instagram photos (just click on the links below!!) I will love you forever!!!
THANK YOU!! XOXOXO
MY #1 RELATIONSHIP RULE
Hello there. Today I'm back with another post on relationships. Yesterday's post was about NOT SETTLING! I know, I know, I told you yesterday I was going to write about fun Valentines ideas but that will come tomorrow (hopefully!) because I feel like today I should write about my #1 relationship rule.
Well it's actually my #2 relationship rule...because the #1 is the boy better LOVE JESUS.
And well my #2 relationship rule is a bit controversial. I know many people will disagree but I gotta share what God puts on my heart...ok? :)
I shared yesterday how I was that girl who often liked boys who didn't like her back. I would often find myself having conversations with my friends like this..."Well he texted me back right away. And then he said this....He so likes me." "Did you see him smile at me..ahhhh!!!" "He's been flirting all night with me!"
I would rationalize and rationalize and rationalize and ask for "signs" from God if the guy liked me....(goooossssh, I sound so crazy.)
I would convince myself that the guy liked me. And then I would muster up the courage to tell the boy I liked him and then.....you guessed it! He didn't feel the same way. Insert crying emoji.
Let's just say I DO NOT RECOMMEND THIS AT ALL. NOT AT ALL. I got hurt over and over because I didn't guard my heart. By the end of 2010 I was soo over over-analyzing guys so I made a rule...
NEVER ASSUME A GUY LIKES YOU UNTIL HE SAYS OUT LOUD (TO YOUR FACE aka NOT IN A TEXT/FB MSG,) I LIKE YOU.
If a guy likes you he should have the (excuse my language) balls to tell you he likes you. Yeah, yeah, he may be shy and you may be super intimidating but honestly, if he can't tell you he likes you, then it's probably best to assume he doesn't like you. Don't read into ANYTHING. Don't look for signs. Don't ask your friends.
If a guy likes you, he will let you know.
Ahhh, I hope this isn't sounding too harsh. I hope you know I'm sharing this because I made stupid, embarrassing mistakes and I don't want you to have to go make the same ones too. I want the best for you! And you deserve the best...starting with a guy who can tell you he likes you and wants to start a relationship with you. No dilly-dallying. If he's a huge flirt and won't tell you he likes you, may I suggest, keeping your distance aka run for the hills!!
You are worthy of someone who will pursue you, who will fight for you. When I was talking to James about this post he gave some sound advice, "If the guy won't fight for you in the beginning, there's no way he'll fight for you in your marriage." And in marriage, you want someone who will fight for you.
When I started using that rule in my relational outlook, I actually started to feel peace. I knew that the one for me would pursue me. I wouldn't assumed he liked me until he told me he liked me. And if he didn't, then that was ok, he just wasn't the one for me. Funnily though James was the next boy I liked. I applied the rule and did not assume anything! And a few months later he told me he liked me and asked me to be his girlfriend...so I guess the rule worked then? ;)
xoxo,
s.s.♥︎.
ON NOT SETTLING... EVEN IF THE GUY THINKS THE SUN SHINES OUT OF YOUR BEHIND
Valentine's Day is coming up this Saturday! Some of you are beaming ear to ear and some of you are cringing. I've been in both of these camps. This is my third Valentine's day where I've had a Valentine...the other 25 times I did not..or I guess I did in elementary school when you got Valentine's from the ENTIRE CLASS!! So with the big day coming up, I thought it would be timely for us to talk about relationships or lack of relationships and how that can be a VERY good thing.
Growing up there were girls in my classes who were "the girl". You know, "the girl". The girl that ALL THE BOYS LOVED. I was not one of these girls. I was the girl who liked a boy who never felt the same way back. I went through a lot of years experiencing this (and it was probably a good thing!)
In my soul searching days of my early twenties I came across some very sound advice from a popular movie...
"Look, in my opinion, the best thing you can do is find a person who loves you for exactly what you are. Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what have you, the right person is still going to think the sun shines out your [BEHIND]. That's the kind of person that's worth sticking with." -Juno's dad.
Now looking back it was pretty good advice, yet I somehow forgot about the beginning part of Juno's father's advice and held on tight to the latter half. I needed someone who thought the world of me. I needed someone who really, really, really like me. I needed someone who thought the sun shined out of my behind. Well, at least, that's what I thought back then.
So I decided not to settle and then what do you know! I met a guy who really really really liked me. He seemed great on paper and yes, he thought the sun shined out of my behind. He was nice. He loved the Lord. We hung out a few times, he even took me out on a really nice date BUT I realized that even though he really liked me and thought the sun shined out of my behind, that wasn't enough. And THAT was a MASSIVE revelation for me. I didn't have peace about the situation. It made me really stressed and anxious. I knew deep down that he wasn't for me.
I remember someone saying to me "______ is a great guy and he likes you! Why don't you like him? Would you really rather be single?!!" And I replied, "Yes I would". And THAT was a MASSIVE confession. I admitted that I would really rather be single than be with someone that I didn't have peace about. That was HUGE for the relationship starved early twenty-something me. I was ok with being single. Heck, I even learned to like being single.
In a past relationship series, my pastor has said, "Better to be single than wish you were single!" And I can't agree more.
Being with someone just for the sake of being with someone is straight up DUMB.
Don't settle. Don't date someone just because they really really like you. Don't get desperate this Valentine's Day. A guy will not complete you. Know your role aka know who you are. You're amazing. SERIOUSLY amazing! And you do deserve someone who thinks the world of you but them thinking the world of you isn't going to hold your relationship together. You need substance, you need foundation. And it is better to be single than wish you were single.
You got this girrrrrrl. Don't settle.
I'll be back tomorrow with tips on having the best Valentines Day whether single or not!
Love you to the moon and back!
s.s.♥︎.
DESIGN // JASON AND RACHEL'S WEDDING INVITE
The BEST party of 2015 is going down in May..... #clungtothejung aka my best friend's wedding!
I had the honour of helping Rachel make her invites happen. See Rachel doesn't need any help at all in the creative side. She has one of the sharpest creative eyes I've seen. And is the most fashionable person I know.
So when it came to her invites, she knew exactly what she wanted and exactly how she wanted them to turn out....and that my friend's is THE BEST and why we're besties.
Here's how we made them...She drew the outline of her and Jason (how stinking cute is it...seriously!!!) and then scanned it in. I opened it up in photoshop and did my magic...aka straightened out lines, added colour (I'm extremely proud of the natural blush I put on her cheeks) and then entered in the text on the back. It's extremely obvious, but just incase you think the back looks like junk, please note I blurred out the address of her wedding...you know incase any of Rachel's stalkers want to cause some trouble on her big day..NU-UH. NOT TODAY.
And she did her magic with the names on the envelopes and stamps. Seriously, I need her writing as a font!!
If you're interested in hiring me to do your wedding invite, hit up my design page!
And be sure to follow along the Jung wedding on instagram #clungtothejung and you can be sure that I'll be posting ALL the incredible details that Rachel has been cooking in that brain of hers!!!
Happy Wednesday!
s.s.♥︎.
ON GOALS
This year I've been making a few changes.
Back in January at our women's ministry (Dream Women), I shared how I'm all about one words for the year (speaking of, I'm going to share mine this week!!!!) instead of new years resolutions. But I have a small confession to make....I do still make a couple resolutions/goals. But before you yell FRAAAAAAUUUUDDDDDDDD at the top of your lungs, let me explain myself...
I'm NOT ABOUT setting crazy unrealistic resolutions that leave you feeling like you're the wooooooooorrrrrssssst person in the world if you don't meet said resolutions. I am ABOUT setting a few realistic goals at the beginning of the year that will enhance your well being.
Before you set your goals, you need to set your attitude first.
Examine your heart and ask yourself some questions.
- Why are you setting this goal?
- What will this do to my life?
- If I don't meet this goal, how will I feel?
Like I've said before, SHAME IS THE WORST MOTIVATOR. If not meeting the goal means spending a week under the covers because you can't face the world because you didn't meet that goal than you should probably rethink the goal.
One of my goals last year was to run three times a week. Surprisingly, I kept to it a lot. But on those weeks where I didn't get my three runs in, I made sure to not shame myself. Instead, I encouraged myself and reminded myself that I would run 3x the next week.
So I've made a couple resolutions/goals for this year..
1. Wash my makeup off every night.
Washing your makeup off at night and going for a run have something in common- YOU'LL NEVER REGRET DOING THEM! In 2014 I got lazy and went to bed more than I would like to admit with full makeup on....ew. This year I've been killing this goal (aside from one day where I put makeup on at 4pm and did a killer cat eye and wanted to save some time the next morning so I didn't wash my makeup but I put it on at 4pm so that was like wearing it all day...riiiiggghhht?)
2. Show up on time.
This past year I got convicted on always being late for things. I've been really trying this year to show up on time. It means a lot more organization on my part but it's good for me.
3. Spend time with Jesus before instagram (and other social media)
Now I gotta be honest with you, this one is the hardest goal for me!!! I heard a preacher (Steven Furtick) say (something along these lines), "no wonder our days are filled with such anxiety and stress when we wake up and look at our phones instead of talking to Jesus."
#BOOM It makes so much sense but man, when I wake up I naturally start checking notifications. I'll start scrolling through instagram and then facebook and if I'm "really tired" twitter and then OH MY GOOOOOOOOSH I've wasted 40 minutes and now I'm rushing to get ready for work and accomplish goal #3. So this year I'm really trying to get up when my alarm goes off (ok, one snooze is allowed), make a cup of coffee, curl up on the couch and spend some time with Jesus. It's been hard but He's been full of grace and tomorrow is a new day.
#hallelujah
So what about you? Did you make new year resolutions/goals or do you have a one word for 2015 or do you do both like me???
xoxo,
s.s.♥︎.