Valentine's Day is coming up this Saturday! Some of you are beaming ear to ear and some of you are cringing. I've been in both of these camps. This is my third Valentine's day where I've had a Valentine...the other 25 times I did not..or I guess I did in elementary school when you got Valentine's from the ENTIRE CLASS!! So with the big day coming up, I thought it would be timely for us to talk about relationships or lack of relationships and how that can be a VERY good thing.
Growing up there were girls in my classes who were "the girl". You know, "the girl". The girl that ALL THE BOYS LOVED. I was not one of these girls. I was the girl who liked a boy who never felt the same way back. I went through a lot of years experiencing this (and it was probably a good thing!)
In my soul searching days of my early twenties I came across some very sound advice from a popular movie...
"Look, in my opinion, the best thing you can do is find a person who loves you for exactly what you are. Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what have you, the right person is still going to think the sun shines out your [BEHIND]. That's the kind of person that's worth sticking with." -Juno's dad.
Now looking back it was pretty good advice, yet I somehow forgot about the beginning part of Juno's father's advice and held on tight to the latter half. I needed someone who thought the world of me. I needed someone who really, really, really like me. I needed someone who thought the sun shined out of my behind. Well, at least, that's what I thought back then.
So I decided not to settle and then what do you know! I met a guy who really really really liked me. He seemed great on paper and yes, he thought the sun shined out of my behind. He was nice. He loved the Lord. We hung out a few times, he even took me out on a really nice date BUT I realized that even though he really liked me and thought the sun shined out of my behind, that wasn't enough. And THAT was a MASSIVE revelation for me. I didn't have peace about the situation. It made me really stressed and anxious. I knew deep down that he wasn't for me.
I remember someone saying to me "______ is a great guy and he likes you! Why don't you like him? Would you really rather be single?!!" And I replied, "Yes I would". And THAT was a MASSIVE confession. I admitted that I would really rather be single than be with someone that I didn't have peace about. That was HUGE for the relationship starved early twenty-something me. I was ok with being single. Heck, I even learned to like being single.
In a past relationship series, my pastor has said, "Better to be single than wish you were single!" And I can't agree more.
Being with someone just for the sake of being with someone is straight up DUMB.
Don't settle. Don't date someone just because they really really like you. Don't get desperate this Valentine's Day. A guy will not complete you. Know your role aka know who you are. You're amazing. SERIOUSLY amazing! And you do deserve someone who thinks the world of you but them thinking the world of you isn't going to hold your relationship together. You need substance, you need foundation. And it is better to be single than wish you were single.
You got this girrrrrrl. Don't settle.
I'll be back tomorrow with tips on having the best Valentines Day whether single or not!
Love you to the moon and back!