One week guys!!!!
One week today I will be in Salt Lake City at Alt Summit getting ready to listen to Oh Joy speak!! I know, I know. I've been talking about this for MONTHS! But time has flown by and now here I am, less than one week away!
So I've been checking things off my list trying to get myself ready...
Business cards- CHECK!
Travel arrangements- CHECK!
Finding out where the nearest Chick-Fil-A is- CHECK!
Outfit planning- Getting there...
There are a few more things on my to-do list but I'm not too worried, it will all get done.
I also made a not-to-do list. Well not exactly a list but a determination.
I determined what I'm not going to do at Alt Summit:
Compare myself to others.
For as long as I remember I've struggled with comparison. I remember comparing myself in grade 6 to my friend who decided to be the first to wear a two piece bathing suit. She was also a lot skinnier than me and that frustrated me. In that situation, at that young age, I saw comparison develop into this monster in me who was clothed in envy and bitterness. That monster followed me for years...even after I became a Christian.
For years I found myself thinking thoughts like this...
"I'll never look like her."
"I can't believe she got him."
"If only I was that skinny."
"Well at least I'm smarter than her."
And the horrible thoughts went on and on and on...
Comparison only lead me to be filled with envy and bitterness. Envy and bitterness are NOT kind friends to have. They eat away at your soul. Like Theodore Roosevelt said, comparison steals your joy. Instead of celebrating others, I tore them down in my head and also ended up tearing myself down in the process. This sickness ate at me for years and it wasn't until a couple years ago that I finally started to address it.
I've had enough of comparing myself to others. God created us uniquely as individuals. He created you. He created me. We're different and that is AWESOME. How dare I judge someone. How dare I harbour awful feelings towards someone. How dare I get envious because of someone else's success or joy.
So I have this defence mechanism when that little comparison monster tries to rear its ugly head. When I find myself starting to compare myself to someone else, I start thinking encouraging thoughts. How can I encourage them? How can I affirm them? How can I celebrate them?
I saw this displayed so clearly as I ran my first half marathon in May. I didn't see myself competing against others. I saw all of us running towards the prize, the finish line...together. I didn't compare myself to the other runners, instead I celebrated that they were running the race as well. They weren't my competitors, instead they were my co-labourers. Each person's race looked differently and that was ok because we were all in it together.
And it's the same thing with blogging. I blog to add a bit of sparkle to someone's day. And I know there are a lot of other bloggers out there who blog to make the internet a better place. Some people have 300, 000 viewers a day and some people have 30. And that's ok.
So I made the determination. The one thing I'm not doing at Alt is- comparing myself to others.
When I walk into a room full of successful bloggers, I will not shrink back in insecurity.
Instead, I will choose to learn from them.
I will choose to be inspired by others.
I will choose celebration over comparison.
I will choose to be a person who encourages and affirms.
I'm kicking that monster to the curb.
over & out,