Today James and I have been married for SIX YEARS. My goodness, we're four years away from ten years!!
It feels like it's been a day and it feels like it's been 100 years.
Throughout these six years we've soared on glorious highs and crawled through rocky lows. No marriage is perfect. We've had seasons where all we could do was keep our head above water. There are days where we annoy the heck out of each other BUT throughout all of it, we have seen God's faithfulness. We have seen that he has truly brought us together and as we trust in him, we both know that he will keep us together.
Kids throw a giant wrench into your married relationship. And for seasons you do what you can do to survive...that was us for the first 4 months of London's life.
BUT we always try to remember that our marriage comes first and kids come second. It's easy to say but much harder to do and this one is a daily challenge!
I often get asked marriage advice (which is a bit crazy as it's only been 6 years!!) here's what I usually say:
- Keep God the centre. Again so easy to say but harder to do. For me this means, praying with your spouse, praying for your spouse, declaring God's promises over your marriage (especially through the rough times). Ask God what your next steps are.
- During conflict, remember that you are on the same team. The problem (kids, money, etc) is not between you (even if you have different opinions). You are side by side and the problem is across from you and you are called to work together with your spouse to tackle the problem. The problem is not between you!
- Talk it out. Obviously communication is HUGE. In the early days, I often had to remind myself that James could not read my mind. If something is bugging you, BRING IT UP. Don't bottle it up, you'll just resent your spouse. Talk it out.
- Have sex. Sex strengthens your marriage. It's a gift from God not to be abused or unused. Use this gift.
- Have intentional time together! Schedule a date and go out together! Get off your phone and talk to each other. Have fun and enjoy each other!
- No phones in the bedroom. This one has been a game changer for us!!! We haven't had electronics in the bedroom for over 2 years and it is such a peaceful environment. We're not really good at going to bed at the same time but I want to work on that one!
- Put your marriage before your kids. I talked about this above but I always go back to this quote....Tell your kids that they came into your life not the other way around. Don't ignore your spouse. It's a hard one for mamas because at the end of the day you are sooo touched out, ha! But make time for your hubby. It's important.
I'd love to hear your favourite marriage advice! Let me know in the comments!
Happy anniversary James. Love you for life and I'm I 100% believe that our best days are ahead of us. The best is yet to be. xoxoox