I'm a naturally positive person. Positivity is my second highest strength on my strengths finder. When I come across negativity, I can actually feel my insides turning. I hate it. I usually run in the opposite direction. I like people to be happy. I'm naturally a people pleaser. So when people say hurtful things about me, I get real upset. BUT I've come to terms with the fact that not everyone is going to like me. Everybody has issues and sadly, people like to take those issues out on other people. Sometimes people say really hurtful things to your face or behind your back.
Funny story...I once received a very in depth email (it was a general info email address that I would read and respond to) ABOUT ME. Yes, the email was complaining about me. LOLs At first I was shocked and sad but then I just had to laugh it off because it was kinda ridiculous that I just so happened to be the person receiving the mean email...
But sometimes I don't laugh. Sometimes I hear certain things and I get very upset. And I know some of you out there may be in this boat. Well, today I have some advice from you that could help you out when you have to deal with the haters....
1. SHAKE IT OFF
Not everyone is going to be your biggest fan and you need to be ok with that. I had this issue last year where I found out that people were not saying the kindest things about me. At first I was furious but when I got home and had a chance to clear my head, I turned on some music and literally danced it off. The great philosopher of our day, T Swift wrote a killer song about this..."And the haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate. Baby I'm just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake...shake it off, shake it off."
When I dance it out, I literally see the negativity and hate fall off my shoulders. You do not need to let those negative voices define you! And take note- when you dance, you gotta go all out and have fun while you're doing it. Seriously, this is very important!!! Soon enough you'll start smiling and know that the haters can keep on hatin and that's ok because you are going to keep on shining. #cantstopwontstop
P.S. I highly recommend these songs- "Shake it Off", "Uptown Funk", "Two of Hearts", "Don't Stop till You Get Enough"
2. TURN YOUR CRITICS INTO COACHES
I went to this conference a number of years ago where Mark Driscoll shared in one of the sessions. I can't really remember what he was speaking on but I kinda remember it being on idols...anyways he said this statement that totally stood out to me "Turn your critics into coaches."
Now I'm not saying, analyze and give that person a voice in your life but examine what they said. Maybe there is some truth in it? You don't owe the haters but we're all works in progress and maybe there are some things you can improve on.
Allow their words to bring out the best in you, not the worst in you.
3. HAVE THICK SKIN & A SOFT HEART
When I'm dealing with haters, I'm naturally inclined to get my stuff together, work my butt off and prove to them that I'm fully capable. I develop a thick skin and an even thicker heart, and that is NO GOOD.
You have to remember that people are people. No one is perfect. Everyone is dealing with their own stuff and hurt people hurt people. Sometimes people say mean things out of an insecurity, past hurt, etc....Lord knows, I've done that before.
When I was at Hillsong London's night leadership classes all those years ago, I learned that I needed to have thick skin and a soft heart.
Thick skin to not let issues, people, etc get me down but to also have a soft heart, that genuinely cares for people.
Jesus says it best in Matthew 5:44- “You’re familiar with the old written law, ‘Love your friend,’ and its unwritten companion, ‘Hate your enemy.’ I’m challenging that. I’m telling you to love your enemies. Let them bring out the best in you, not the worst. When someone gives you a hard time, respond with the energies of prayer, for then you are working out of your true selves, your God-created selves."
Now this is a hard one for me. I'm Italian and I'm reeeeeaaal good at holding grudges BUT God's been working on my heart, softening it.
I'm not saying, continue to give someone authority in your life to speak negative things over you. I'm saying, pray for them. Bless them. Who knows what God could do with the situation....
But keep on shining like a diamond girl...don't let anyone dull that sparkle!