the loneliness

Well James has been gone one week. 15 sleeps left. I'm doing a lot better this week than last week. It's a weird thing being married. You get very attached to someone...I guess it's the whole becoming one thing. Before I was married, I prided myself on being an independent woman. I didn't need no man! I didn't miss anyone. It was all good in the hood. But fast forward a few years and here I am sitting in my fluffy bathrobe, eating cereal for dinner (sorry babe!) and missing my man.

Don't worry, I'm not falling apart. I'm still here. I'm still well (I'm eating vegetables too, not just cereal!) I still see people A LOT! I just miss him...dearly. And it's getting easier. Me and Coco have our rhythm. She's an excellent spooning partner...except when she wakes me up at 5am scratching the curtains...!

To be honest, the hardest time for me was right before James left. I've never really experienced anxiety like I did in those days. I've been stressed and anxious before but those few days, I felt like I was in a cloud, a dark cloud, with dark scary thoughts. It was very weird as I hadn't really experienced anything like it before. The only thing that seemed to calm me down was reciting Bible verses in my head. 

At the same time, Hillsong United released Prince of Peace off their upcoming album, Empires. My goodness, it came at the perfect time for me.

When Night screams terror, there your voice will roar.

I played this song over and over and over and I knew with all my heart that Jesus, the Prince of Peace was at my side. He was there in the midst of the dark cloud and His voice became louder than the anxiety. 

I don't know where you're at but maybe you are facing some anxiety or fear or terror. My prayer for you is that you would know the Prince of Peace and that He is there for you in the storm. Listen to this song, let His promises wash over you and if you want someone to pray for you, please send me an email ( or comment below. I would love to pray for you.

anxiety relief

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
-John 14:27

Like I said, this week is already better than last week. I'm almost done mourning the death on Grey's Anatomy (still mad about it though, haha!!!), I get to go to Relate Women Conference on Thursday, and I have A LOT of homework to do. And I'm feeling so much peace, thank you Jesus.

stay gold,