How I'm learning to love my postpartum body

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You know there are a lot of things about having a baby that people don't really tell you. I'm pretty sure I've mentioned it before but before I had Luca, I pictured postpartum life as a delightful break from working, unlimited baby snuggles and free time to do whatever I please...HAHA.

Obviously, I was naive in my thinking and I learned that being a mom is the hardest job ever pretty quickly but I didn't expect as many, let's just put it as "surprises", that came with the postpartum body. 

Let's talk about a few of those "surprises"...Now this may not be the case for everyone but before I was pregnant I was literally cold ALL THE TIME. Enter postpartum life where I would literally soak through sheets at's tamed down now but still I haven't felt cold in a long time.

Another thing I didn't expect was to be in MAD PAIN. Birth was a flipping marathon...and pushing for almost 3 hours did a number on me and my body...I won't get into any details but let's just say, I took longer than I thought I needed to recover and heal...and dear Lord, remind me to invest in a donut pillow before I give birth again.

One more thing that I didn't really think about was postpartum body. I gained 45lbs with Luca, and like most of the naive world, I thought the pounds would just shed off with breastfeeding. A lot has but not all of it and what I'm left with is a body that's veeerrrrry different than before. A few years back God really healed me of some body issues (I wrote about that here!) But with this postpartum body, I found myself getting close to going down that old path of shaming and self-loathing....but thankfully by the grace of God (and encouragement from my sweet hubby) I'm beating those postpartum body blues.

Here are three ways I'm beating those postpartum body blues:


I've written before on comparison but it is one I constantly have to say OH HECK NO to. Comparison is something that so many women deal with and it seriously rears its ugly head in every new season...especially in this whole mom thing. (PS. If you're local to Victoria, my church's womens group is doing a study on comparison on Wednesday mornings!)

I definitely found myself looking at other women who had babies (in real life and celebrities, ha) and being jealous/sad that the weight seemed to fall off of them. Why wasn't it flying off of me!!?? I needed to give my head a good shake and remember that we were all created differently (with different metabolisms and finances that afford personal trainers and chefs ha) and comparing myself to others would get me nowhere. Instead of comparing my body to others I needed to embrace the change taking place within myself.


Becoming a mom changes you. I did not expect this much change but I am definitely not the woman I used to be. Motherhood is not my sole identity (post coming soon on this!) but a part of me and it has changed me for life. So often the media celebrates women who bounce quickly back to their pre-baby body. But the thing about motherhood is, you're not meant to bounce back (found this article so beautiful on this!)  You're different in mind, body and spirit and that is a beautiful thing. 

I'm learning to embrace the change of motherhood. I feel stronger than ever before and when I look in the mirror at my jiggly stomach, instead of thinking ugggh, I see it as a reminder that I GREW A HUMAN BEING AND THEN BIRTHED THAT HUMAN BEING...THAT IS PRETTY FREAKING AMAZING. And now I get to snuggle that human being endlessly until he is 30.

So if you find yourself looking in the mirror wishing you would look like you used to look...please remind yourself that your body created life. And that is a very, very beautiful and selfless thing.


Self-care for a momma is SO IMPORTANT. At the beginning I struggled with a lot of anxiety. My whole world was wrapped up in the little lion and I was pouring myself into him (literally as well lols). I didn't take any time for myself and I didn't take care of my body whatsoever. I ate like crap and was feeling like that too. My self-care had gone down the toilet. 

But the moment I started eating healthier and exercising, I felt a world of difference. And I didn't go crazy like I would have in the past. I just started being accountable to what I was putting in my body (I use my fitness pal to track calories with my goal being around 2300) and started to exercise gently. 

I'm also refusing to use shame as a motivator. Like I said in this post, my goal is to be healthy and not shame myself because shame is THE WORST motivator.

Be kind to yourself

I'm also learning to give myself GRACE and to be kind to myself. Again, I'm referencing the post I just linked to but seriously...speaking God's word over yourself can truly transform your mindset. And this is for all the non-moms too...please be kind to yourselves. You are beautiful, you are valuable, you are loved.

Three ways to beat those postpartum body blues!


These three things have helped me kick the postpartum body blues but I know everyone is different and different things work for different people (like hello mom of 3 kids, how do you do what you do!).  



I remember at a young age I wanted to grow up and be a mermaid. Shortly after I realized that dream probably wasn't going to happen, I changed my aspiration to being a lawyer. Yes, when I was seven years old, I dreamed of being a LAWYER. In high school it changed to coroner and then to forensic investigator (I blame my obsession with C.S.I...I was absolutely obsessed with C.S.I. in high OBSESSED. Grissom was the bomb. I never got into C.S.I Miami though. And FYI I haven't seen an episode of C.S.I. since high school...Are they even making it still? Ok...enough with C.S.I.) After high school when I became a Christian, it changed to pastor. 

Tonight at my small group, we spent some time talking about calling and purpose. 10 years ago I learned about a concept that really helped shape my view on my "calling". The teacher at the night leadership course I was going to at the time, had us trace a picture of our hand. She then had us start filling in our hand with areas of responsibilities that we had in our life- people we were in relationship with, jobs, family, area of serving at church, etc. I found out that those areas were my current "calling". My mind was blown.

Now don't get me wrong, I believe that all of us have are given purpose and calling. It burns in your heart. It may seem massive, it may seem small, it may seem out of reach, it may seem like what you're doing now is the furthest thing from that. But sometimes we can get so consumed with what's in our heart that we forget what's in our hand.

There's a story in the Bible about a guy named Moses. Some of you know this story well, but some of you may not know about this guy. Basically God called Moses to do something very big. He called Moses to go to the Pharaoh and bring God's enslaved children out of Egypt. It was a very big deal. Moses was obviously freaked and kept questioning God about this calling. And in Exodus 4 God asked Moses, "What is that in your hand?" Moses was holding a staff and God told him to throw it on the ground. The staff miraculously became a serpent. When Moses picked it up it became a staff again. That staff, that was in Moses' hand, became a tool that led Moses to his calling.

You are not in your current arena of life to just chill until your calling magically appears in your lap. You have a purpose. You have a calling. But right now you are called to something, called to someone. You have been given responsibility. It may seem small, it may seem dismal but who knows, perhaps it's going to be a tool that will lead you to your calling? Or who knows, maybe as you're faithful to what is placed in your hand, that calling in your heart may change?

What I do know is that God blesses obedience. He sees your faithfulness and your perseverance. And He also sees and knows your heart better than anyone else.


"If you are faithful in little things, you will be faithful in large ones."

-Luke 16:10

"Do not despise these small beginnings, for the Lord rejoices to see the work begin..." -Zechariah 4:10


I'd love to hear from you! Is there something burning in your heart that you feel is your purpose or calling? What's currently in your hand? Has your calling changed as you've walked through different seasons of life?


dear diary #007

Today the sun was shining. I pulled down the top of the ol cabrio and put on my go to summer song, The Cure’s - Just Like Heaven. No other song can get me stoked for summer as that one. (A close second is Stacey Q.’s- Two of Hearts. Amazing video…I get all my dance moves from her) I can’t believe today is MARCH 28th (Happy birthday Mum!)…seriously, it’s the END of March. I can’t believe that almost three complete months of 2011 have gone by. Insane. A lot has happened in the past two months, maybe that’s a reason why it’s flying by so quickly?

So pretty much every weekend has been filled with oodles of goodness. A couple weekends ago I went over to Vancouver to visit my bestie Rachel before she moved back to VIC!!! and her roomate who happens to also be one of my closest friends, Courtney!! (She WILL be moving back very SOON…right Courtney?)

Such an amazing weekend, arrived late Thursday, slept in Friday, went for an afternoon coffee at Calhouns with Courtney who also happens to be my editor. Looove her. I conquered through some major writing block I was having (yet I need to get on my writing this week!!!!!!!!!!) I picked up a diana mini camera and am so stoked to see my pictures from my first roll, which is waiting for me at Walmart. They say your first roll sucks, hopefully mine turned out as I took a lot of pics that weekend in Van. Anyways, we did a lot of CADTOOL planning…OH MY GOSH we leave in TWO WEEKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and on Saturday me and Rach rented bikes and biked around Stanley Park. It was such a gorgeous day. Hopefully those pictures turned out. It was a beaut weekend. i was sad to leave Vancouver, knowing I don’t have a good place to stay any more. But I am WAAAY happier that my bff is now living in VIC! & Courtney is on her way.

I find myself battling a cold now, a well worth it cold though. This past week I spent the majority of my time with 14 teens. CITYREACH! They volunteered their spring break to grow closer to God through serving our Island! We served in many different ways including at Sanctuary youth centre, Glow Day Camp, Nanoose, at a farm that serves as a rehabilitation centre. (I legit stacked wood for 3 hours straight. I have never done that much manual labor in my entire life.) Ahhh but what an amazing time we had together. To finish the week off we went up to Nanoose to paint. That night at Nanoose we had an incredible time of worship & prayer. It’s so encouraging and amazing to hear the prayers of teens who have such a desire for God to change their schools,families,city. To finish off the night we had an epic bonfire….which also makes me sooo excited for summer bonfires! Ohhh summer, you really are just around the corner.

So yes life has been full. Full & beautiful.

still can’t believe i’ll be in california in two weeks!!!! COACHELLA!!!!!!!!!

until next time diary,