ON DEALING WITH THE NEGATIVE VOICES IN YOUR LIFE (AKA THE HATERS)

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I'm a naturally positive person. Positivity is my second highest strength on my strengths finder. When I come across negativity, I can actually feel my insides turning. I hate it. I usually run in the opposite direction. I like people to be happy. I'm naturally a people pleaser. So when people say hurtful things about me, I get real upset. BUT I've come to terms with the fact that not everyone is going to like me. Everybody has issues and sadly, people like to take those issues out on other people. Sometimes people say really hurtful things to your face or behind your back. 

Funny story...I once received a very in depth email (it was a general info email address that I would read and respond to) ABOUT ME. Yes, the email was complaining about me. LOLs At first I was shocked and sad but then I just had to laugh it off because it was kinda ridiculous that I just so happened to be the person receiving the mean email...

But sometimes I don't laugh. Sometimes I hear certain things and I get very upset. And I know some of you out there may be in this boat. Well, today I have some advice from you that could help you out when you have to deal with the haters....

1. SHAKE IT OFF

Not everyone is going to be your biggest fan and you need to be ok with that. I had this issue last year where I found out that people were not saying the kindest things about me. At first I was furious but when I got home and had a chance to clear my head, I turned on some music and literally danced it off. The great philosopher of our day, T Swift wrote a killer song about this..."And the haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate. Baby I'm just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake...shake it off, shake it off." 

When I dance it out, I literally see the negativity and hate fall off my shoulders. You do not need to let those negative voices define you! And take note- when you dance, you gotta go all out and have fun while you're doing it. Seriously, this is very important!!! Soon enough you'll start smiling and know that the haters can keep on hatin and that's ok because you are going to keep on shining. #cantstopwontstop
P.S. I highly recommend these songs- "Shake it Off", "Uptown Funk", "Two of Hearts", "Don't Stop till You Get Enough"

2. TURN YOUR CRITICS INTO COACHES

I went to this conference a number of years ago where Mark Driscoll shared in one of the sessions. I can't really remember what he was speaking on but I kinda remember it being on idols...anyways he said this statement that totally stood out to me "Turn your critics into coaches."

Now I'm not saying, analyze and give that person a voice in your life but examine what they said. Maybe there is some truth in it? You don't owe the haters but we're all works in progress and maybe there are some things you can improve on.

Allow their words to bring out the best in you, not the worst in you.

3. HAVE THICK SKIN & A SOFT HEART

When I'm dealing with haters, I'm naturally inclined to get my stuff together, work my butt off and prove to them that I'm fully capable. I develop a thick skin and an even thicker heart, and that is NO GOOD. 

You have to remember that people are people. No one is perfect. Everyone is dealing with their own stuff and hurt people hurt people. Sometimes people say mean things out of an insecurity, past hurt, etc....Lord knows, I've done that before.

When I was at Hillsong London's night leadership classes all those years ago, I learned that I needed to have thick skin and a soft heart.
Thick skin to not let issues, people, etc get me down but to also have a soft heart, that genuinely cares for people.

Jesus says it best in Matthew 5:44- “You’re familiar with the old written law, ‘Love your friend,’ and its unwritten companion, ‘Hate your enemy.’ I’m challenging that. I’m telling you to love your enemies. Let them bring out the best in you, not the worst. When someone gives you a hard time, respond with the energies of prayer, for then you are working out of your true selves, your God-created selves."

Now this is a hard one for me. I'm Italian and I'm reeeeeaaal good at holding grudges BUT God's been working on my heart, softening it. 

I'm not saying, continue to give someone authority in your life to speak negative things over you. I'm saying, pray for them. Bless them. Who knows what God could do with the situation....

But keep on shining like a diamond girl...don't let anyone dull that sparkle!

xo,

s.s.♥︎.

ONE WORD 2015 // SARAH

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Ohhh hey there friends!! Today I have a TREAT for you! My beautiful friend, Sarah is sharing all about her one word for 2015...enjoy xoxo

As I prayed about and pondered my one-word for 2015, I arrived at a simple word:

Stay.

I like adventure.  I'm a dreamer and I love having projects on the go and keeping busy.  I like to make lists and achieve as much as humanly possible.  To be honest, the word  'stay' seemed rather boring.   Considering I visited ten countries in 2014, the word seemed to mock me.   How would it be possible to have grand adventures if I was simply supposed to 'stay' this year?   That didn't seem like any fun at all!

But what if I had the wrong idea about the word?   What if I could apply it in a different context?   According to Wikipedia, "Stay the course" is a phrase used in the context of a war or battle meaning to pursue a goal regardless of any obstacles or criticism.

I have some hopes, dreams, and goals for this upcoming year.   All of these will require me to do the work and stay the course.   It's easy to be motivated when the sun is shining and the birds singing, but another thing to work out when it's cold and gloomy and I haven't yet seen any results; to say no to a beautiful new outfit if it doesn't fit my budget this month; to write another proposal at work even if the last three prospects have rejected me.

I've always been a very loyal, committed *cough cough STUBBORN* individual.   When I decide to do something, very little will change my mind.  For me, the hardest part is making the original decision.   That being said, I am not a naturally patient person.  I want things NOW!   I will admit to hounding my loved ones THREE DAYS after beginning a new fitness regime in 2015, asking if they could tell any difference in my personal appearance (sorry about that... but seriously, can you?!).

While I was writing this post, I came across a quote from Christine Caine, a leader I admire.   Her words seemed very fitting for 2015:

 
"To fulfill purpose you have to STAY THE COURSE:
When it's hard - STAY
When it's painful - STAY
When it's boring - STAY
When it's unfair - STAY
When it's lonely - STAY"

 

Staying the course will mean I have to keep at something, even if I don't see immediate results.  A Pastor in town once told me, "boot after boot, step after step, just keep walking.  One day you'll look back and see how far you've come."

Stay.  Stay the course.

Awwe, thank you so much for sharing Sarah!!! Excited to see what's in store for you this year :)

I have more one words to post but I'd love to hear yours! And if you want to post yours, please email me at laura@ssheart.com 

Previous 2015 one words- Mine & our one word brunch!

Hope you all had a fabulous weekend! Today is my day off after a crraaazy Sunday. Excited to rest, run and work on homework (obvs not excited about that last thing...lol)

xo,

s.s.♥︎.

OUR HOME // KITCHEN (BEFORE)

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You've seen the before photos of our living room, dining room, and master and now we arrive at the kitchen. Our current kitchen needs a whole lot of work. This is a BIIIGGGG project. We have BIG plans for this one...but before we talk, let's show you the photos...

It's not the exact type of kitchen that's screaming...BAKE COOKIES IN ME but it's alright for now...and let me tell you, I've already baked dozens and dozens of cookies in it. :)

I am thankful for the cupboard space and also for the fact that the cupboards are white and not some crazzzy bright colour BUT I have BIG dreams for this space.

First of all, we're planning on taking down that brick wall...before you say WHHHYYYY I LOOOOVE THE BRICK!!!, let me tell you...it's a FAUX brick wall. Yeah, so we're planning on smashing it down. During the crazy renos in December, James and my pops actually climbed up into the attic and secured whatever they needed to secure so we can do that in the future #lovethem.

So the wall will come down and we will have an open concept with an island FO SHO. When it comes to the rest of the kitchen, I'm sooo indecisive... good thing I have a long time to dream while we save up some $$$ for this massive project.

Here's what's inspiring me in the meantime...

 1 // 2 // 3 // 4 // 5

I'm all about those cute fluffy stools. And a farmhouse sink...and subway tiles...and butcher block countertop...part of me wants all marble but I know we will never be able to afford that..oh this will be a fun reno! In due time though...in due time...

Hope you have an amazing weekend! It's raining here in ol Victoria which makes me sad because of all the glorious weather we've been happening. We're having a clothing/garbage sale on Saturday so pleeease pray for sun and come on by if you're a local!

Happy Friday!!

xo,

s.s.♥︎.

MY ONE WORD FOR 2015

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Last month some friends and I gathered for the annual One Word breakfast. (Check out that post here!) We ate, laughed, chatted and all shared our one words for 2015. This is my fourth year with a one word (check out previous ones...2012, 2013, 2014)! For those of you new to this space, one word for the year stemmed from this site. It's all about forgetting crazy, unachievable new years resolutions and instead choosing a word to define your year. Every year I pray about it and every year God gives me a word to define the year.

My one word for 2015 is strong.

At the end of last year, I started to reflect and pray about what my word for 2015 would be. One night as I was going to sleep the verse "be strong and courageous" (Joshua 1:6) kept going through my mind. Whenever I've read that verse in the past, I would always see it as encouraging me to have courage, to not fear...but this time around I felt like BE STRONG was being highlighted, bolded AND italicized. I kept thinking about that word strong and what it means to be strong and soon enough I knew, that was my one word for 2015. 

Early January I came across two different verses on being strong...

"Strength is for service not status." -Romans 15 MSG

Suddenly I knew...this ain't about me. God spoke to my heart, "I'm not making you strong to elevate you, I'm making you strong to serve others." He has given me strength and I believe will continue to strengthen me this year to serve others, to help others, to love others. I love people. My favourite thing to do in ministry is counselling people. I love sitting down with someone (over good coffee obvs!) and hearing about their lives. Seriously, I leave most counselling appointments refreshed and filled with joy. It gets my blood pumping to see people walk through life and experience victory.  He's making me strong to serve others. Service over status. 

"All praise to the one who is strong enough to make you strong."- Romans 16

This second verse spoke directly to my fear. In those times of weakness, in those times when life is hard, in the low times, I don't have to fear that I'm unable to be "strong". I am strong because I trust in the one who is strong enough to make me strong. 

Already this year, I have faced trials...there have been many tears shed BUT He has been faithful. I've felt strength rise up in me as I remember who is with me...my God...who is strong enough to make me strong.

So I say bring it 2015. I may not be ready for all the curve balls you throw at me and the people I love but I know the One who can handle it all and He will give me all the strength I need.

xoxo,

s.s.♥︎.

P.S. Do you have a one word for 2015? I'd love to hear all about it!! AND I'd love to post it here on the blog! Email me at laura@ssheart.com

BAND WIFE LIFE

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image by Ameris

First of all, how awesome is that pic of James? That was him rehearsing the song he wrote for me on our wedding day. He completely surprised me at the reception with the most beautiful song. One of my favourite moments of life thus far.

I announced on facebook last week that James will be playing keys with local band Towers and Trees. I'm so pumped for him. They're a rad band and are playing in Victoria in April, so you all better come out and support! And for those of you in other parts of Canada, they are touring! Check out their website to catch them in your town.

So I'm officially becoming a band wife. I'm stoked to support my man in doing what he loves to do. They'll be touring for 3+ weeks in April/May. That will be the longest stretch of time we've been apart for! It will be hard, but I'm a busy girl and like to keep it that way so you can bet your bottom dollar I'll be filling up those three weeks with projects round the home, finishing my current summit course, #clungtothejung wedding stuff and lots of coffee dates! But man, I sure will miss cuddling him every night...good thing I got Coco to keep me company while he's gone.

Obviously I'll be blogging lots about band wife life, and if you're in Victoria, be sure to come out to Towers & Tree on April 10th & 11th (I'm pretty sure the 11th is sold out!!)

xo,

s.s.♥︎.