Oh goodness this could be a long post. It could also be a post I can look back on in twenty years and LOL at. I do realize I'm a rookie when it comes to marriage. 2.5 years can still be considered newlywed life! So do forgive me if I sound naive, I'm no marriage expert!
Since we've been talking about relationships the past few days (here are the posts... Not Settling, My #1 Relationship Rule, Dancing with Myself) it's about time I talked about marriage!!
So what can I say about marriage?
1. It's crazy hard yet crazy amazing.
And I guess that's a thing you can guarantee about marriage...it will be awesome but it will be hard. When you love someone, you have to be vulnerable. You just can't love without vulnerability. And when we are vulnerable, when we trust someone with our delicate hearts, we will get hurt...it's inevitable. People are people and we make mistakes. C.S. Lewis says it best, so let's let him take it away....
“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.”
- C.S. Lewis
To be honest, James and I have had many ups and many downs in our marriage. We've had high seasons and we've had low seasons. Things have been really good and things have been really hard. But through it all, we have fought for our marriage. Whether it has been one of us or both of us, we have persevered, we haven't given up.
There are some verses from 1 Corinthians 13 which have been such an encouragement and anchor to remind me how I ought to love James. I have these words written on a sticky note on my work computer and honestly I find myself reading them at least once a week.
Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It does not dishonour others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
This is the type of love that I vowed to love James with. A love that is not surface level but has incredibly deep roots. On that day, 2.5 years ago, I vowed to love him with a love that always protects, always trusts, always hopes and always perseveres.
Through the easy times, obviously it has been easy to love him in this way but ahhhh through those painstaking seasons, it has been hard BUT it has been worth it.
2. Know your best days are before you.
Our motto for our marriage has been, "Grow old along with me, the best is yet to be." I will view our marriage through the eyes of HOPE. Through the 2.5 years, things have only gotten better as we have grown closer. And I know we have many many future obstacles but God has been so faithful and I know that is not going to change so I refuse to look to the future with a pessimistic view. I believe wholeheartedly that the best is yet to be.
3. Prayer changes things.
Pray for your spouse. Every single day. Prayer works and changes things. #nuffsaid
